Special Moments

Webinar: Tips for Dementia Caregivers, by Expert Holly Emerson (SweetTree Home Care Services)

18 September 2025

Care Profile: Jason Smith

4 September 2025

National Dementia Carers Day is all about celebrating unofficial carers and recognising their efforts. As a carer for his father in-law, Isaac, Jason Smith advocates for compassion, resilience and the virtue or selflessness, despite his own health conditions. He was delighted to share his story, which you can read or watch the interview below.


Where Does Your Care Journey Begin?

I began looking after my father, who lives in Croydon, and I still do but that’s once a week. He has registered carers looking after his needs, so it’s not on a daily basis. I simply just to visit him and spend time with him, but also provide him with whatever I can, like shaving him and things like that. So, I have some history of doing this kind of work.

Where does you your story with Isaac Start?

Well, that started when we moved here in May 2021, after his grandson moved out of the house with his wife and daughter, so we needed to move in straight away to attend to his needs. That’s where the story with Isaac began. Obviously, before that, we were seeing him on a regular basis at least once a week with my wife as well, but it wasn’t as an actual carer, it was more so as a family visit.

What are the biggest lessons you’ve learnt in this care journey?

That’s a very big question because it goes to the heart of what this is all about in terms of how you learn about yourself and what you need to overcome. A lot of it is down to patience and showing unconditional love and having that spirit of doing the right thing for somebody who has genuine needs and meeting those needs on a daily basis. I was up with him at half four this morning and sometimes I could be with him for an hour because there’s a lot of things that need to be done. So, I don’t have a regular sleep pattern, hence me drinking a cup of tea right now because I’ve not had any breakfast. It’s very demanding in that kind of way and it does have an impact on your health, so I have to be aware of that as well.

Whilst you’ve been caring for Isaac, what ways have you learnt to care for yourself?

By trying to make sure that I have enough sleep where I can. That’s an interesting question, because you’re juggling a lot of balls here. So, my wife helps me with looking after Isaac, but in terms of what I do to look after myself, there are immediate needs that have to be met because I have health issues myself. I’m trying to fit it all into a very demanding and unpredictable schedule, so there’s not really time I have to myself. Unless a when a carer from SweetTree comes in and assists, then there’s no designated ‘my time’. Rather like with children, you must manage your time around their time, rather than see your time as your own. As everyone does, I have a lot of needs that need to be met but we just get by as best we can.

So, on a day where you’re less busy with Isaac, what are things you do to unwind?

I like to read, and I like to write I’m currently writing a film script, which is my first one. It’s based on a lot of life experiences, not as a carer but there’s a lot of things you just feel are important about life and everything that matters in life is in this script – It’s about relationships. It does enable you to have that more compassionate outlook in terms of how you draw these things together. That’s a source of inspiration for me and an outlet that I enjoy.

What difference do you feel like you’ve made in Isaac’s life through care?

I think it’s just that security that he has. I asked him the same question, and two things came to his mind were: being kept safe and feeling comfortable in his home environment. So, there’s nothing that makes him feel uncomfortable about his circumstances. Clearly, it’s not ideal for him to feel the way he does; he knows that somethings not right, but he can’t identify. But things are made as good as they can be for him and he’s very appreciative of that and I’m appreciative of him for his input into my life with his life experiences that help me to understand the bigger picture of things.

What do you wish more people knew about dementia?

That there’s a lot of positive experiences that you can have, rather like raising children, there’s a lot of demands. Don’t think of it in terms of someone reaching the end stages of their life and you’re losing them in front of your very eyes. Yes, there certainly is that aspect of it, but there’s a lot of things you can do to push back against the inevitability of death.

Whilst we’re alive, there’s a reason and purpose for it, for us to be here on this earth: having a meaningful impact on others. We don’t often appreciate how significant that impact is, from the point of view of the carer and the point of view of the person being cared for. There’s a lot of things going on that benefits us, there’s’ nothing wasted. Being a carer is not an excursion into some fantasy world or an outlet for entertainment and people know that, but don’t be afraid of it. Don’t be afraid of what opens your sense of self and what you value in life because care is about values.

If you or someone you know has a care story you’d like to share, contact us at info@nationaldementiacarers.co.uk Want to learn more about National Dementia Carers Day? Click to visit our Instagram or Facebook pages.

Find the Right Memory Café For You

27 August 2025

Maintaining a social life, engaging in hobbies and building meaningful connections is important for a person’s quality of life. Dementia can often cause those living with it, to be less social and partake less in activities that once gave them joy, ultimately reducing their sense of community, confidence and overall wellbeing. Memory cafés offer that community space where people with dementia and their caregivers can socialise with others who share their experience, engage in enrichment activities and feel less isolated. There are many locations across the UK, but finding the right café for you isn’t easy, so we’ve compiled a list to help you find a one that suits your needs.

City Mission Dementia Café – Bathurst Gardens, London

“The café offers stimulating activities, such as physical exercise, brain activities and social interaction. Personal care is not provided. A paid-for lunch is available. Minibus also available for collection drop off.”

Memory Café – Fishponds, Bristol

“Chat to people with dementia, their carers, family and friends at our friendly and relaxed dementia café. At each session you can ask questions, share your experiences and get the help, advice and information you need in an informal and sociable setting.”

Coffee Morning – Holbrooks, Coventry

“This weekly coffee morning community gives an opportunity to meet other people living with dementia, get support and make friends. Dave Atkins attends the cafe as a Dementia Care Award winner as an inspirational person living with young onset dementia. He is there to have a friendly chat, help with any information you may need and perhaps a little peace of mind. People attending form smaller groups based on what they like. This could include: chatting; knitting; walking; jigsaws; dominos and individual verbal support.”

  • The Coventry Dementia Partnership Hub, Everdon Road,
    CV6 4FB, Coventry
  • 024 7697 8080
  • CDPH@Coventry.gov.uk

The Forget Me Not Memory Café – Sutton, London

“To bring innovation & inspiration to people (and their carers) who feel isolated and or marginalized as a result of their physical or mental illness.”

  • Thomas Wall Centre, 52 Benhill Avenue, Sutton, SM14DP
  • 07815688335
  • forgetmenotproject17@gmail.com

Dementia Café – Hulme, Manchester

“African Caribbean Care Group’s Dementia Adviser hosts a series of workshops and presentations to raise awareness of Dementia, and to promote best practice with Dementia Care. These are informal meetings aimed at developing a sense of community, understanding in a friendly and open environment. Carers of people with dementia have the opportunity to connect with other individuals who have similar experiences, allowing them to share and gain knowledge.”

  • African Caribbean Care Group, Claremont Centre, 2 Jarvis Road, M15 5FS, Manchester
  • 0161 226 6334
  • dementia@accg.org.uk+

Memory Café North – Chelsea, London

“Memory Cafe North session to provide group based support for people living with dementia as well as their families and supporters.”

  • Westminster Memory Service, 42 Westbourne Park Road, Kensington & Cheslea, London, W2 5PH
  • 020 7723 5425
  • sepe@candchealthcare.co.uk

Aston Villa Dementia Café – Birmingham

“Age UK and Aston Villa Foundation’s dementia café offers different types of activities including games such as bowling, boccia and table tennis; arts and crafts; music corner; circle dance and refreshments. There are two areas available, one for the session to take place and a separate area for carers/support person to have a drink and relax.”

Music Café – Gorton, Manchester

“The Music Café provides free music-making workshops plus information and training on how to use music at home to help your loved ones. Join in to learn more about how music can help you and your loved ones with singing, dancing, tea, coffee and general merriment, led by the Camerata’s specially trained musicians.”

Care Profile: Katie’s Story

20 August 2025

Katie and Dad

As an informal dementia carer, you’re always finding ways to brighten up the lives of those you care for. This could look like enrichment activities or valuable down time. Many use media to capture special memories and small moments during this period of life, such as Katie, who runs the Instagram page @dadanddolly. This visual archive of her father, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, documents his daily life with his dog, Dolly, and has created a community along the way. But what is Katie’s story as a carer, and how has social media helped along the way? Katie gives us all the answers…

“My first foray into the caring world began as a teenager because I had to look after my mum, who had motor neurone disease. More recently, it started in 2021, when I realised my father’s memory was going and he was struggling to manage his day-to-day life. He was getting thinner, and I realised he couldn’t manage on his own anymore, so I moved him in next door to me as a way to keep an eye on him, support him, and provide him with company and structure.”

Where did the idea for the ‘Dad and Dolly’ page come from?

Dad and Katie with their dogs, Dolly and Mouse

“That happened because I was already filming my dad. One, because it was very sweet, and two, because my mum died when I was 20 – and that was in the 90s. There wasn’t this thing of having lots of videos, so I don’t have many captures of her and her voice. I found one video with her voice in it, and it took my breath away, because I haven’t heard it for 20 years, so I really feel strongly about documenting normal life with your family.

I was doing that and was posting them on my personal Instagram and then a friend of mine, who was a PR guy I used to work with, said, “Why don’t you start an Instagram account to show the videos of your caring experience with your dad and the joyful moments?” I was already doing some other work to try and get people to prepare for their parents getting older and navigate this time of life, so that it’s more joyful and less stressful for everyone. My dad was happy to do it. I asked for his permission. It’s been a nice creative outlet for me, and it’s a way for me to have community because people are nice and kind and write lovely messages. It’s nice to be able to share this time with other people, because it is such a lonely experience for both people with dementia and their carers.”

Dad holding Katie as a baby

What are the biggest lessons you’ve learnt from caring for your dad?

“I think there are lots of lessons you get when you care. One is just how difficult it is to manage caring and having a career and ambition. I guess on a broader level, the biggest lesson is how shamefully undervalued care is in Western society. How invisible it is, how isolated you are when you become a carer. On a more personal level, I’ve learned to become truer to myself, which has been a good thing, so there have been good lessons from care in that sense. It’s been a test of my patience and integrity; I’ve learned that I’m a good carer and not everyone is. I don’t think everyone has the skills to be a good carer, in the same way that not everyone has the skills to be a CEO of a big corporate company.

Caring is sacred in my opinion; it’s a wonderful thing that we can do for each other as humans, and it’s the foundation of a good society. You need the balance for things to work, but carers need support and community, and they need to be considered incredibly valuable. I wonder if it’s because people often associate care with feminine qualities. I just don’t think you can have a society without good care because you can’t raise good children, you can’t support people into life or out of life, and we all want it. You need to value it in order to receive it.

Another lesson is that I’ve learnt to really get to know my dad. I think that one of the lovely things about care is that you really get to know someone, and that is a wonderful feeling. To know them inside and out, to know what makes them tick, to know that you can help them live well through a difficult time. It goes two ways.”

What difference do you think you’ve made to your dad’s life?

Dad and Dolly

“The way I think about this is: ‘what would happen if I wasn’t here?’ I think he’d be very lonely. I think he’d really struggle with his symptoms. I think he’d be constantly frustrated, and that’s if he was still here; I don’t even know if he would be. I think by being a carer for my dad, I’ve enabled him to continue living as well as he possibly can with a difficult disease. I’ve helped him stay connected to the community, which is incredibly important for anyone with dementia.

You need to facilitate connection, social interaction, and joy, and be able to live life as well as you can for as long as you can, and feel valued. I don’t take over, I only support him to do the things he can still do, and I allow him to take care of me in the way he can, even if it’s just making a cup of tea.”

Whilst you support him, in what ways are you supporting yourself?

“Like a lot of carers, I did stretch myself too much and came very close to burnout. I had to take a step back, learn not to put too much pressure on myself and make time for myself for self-care. I have self-care Saturdays, which I mostly stick to, it’s not always on a Saturday, but just finding a way for someone else to care for me and to care for myself. Even exercising is very important, that really helps to manage stress. Being creative and doing creative stuff really helps me to deal with all of this. I would definitely like to have more community and more support but it’s just very difficult, particularly in London, it’s very fast paced.”

What do you wish more people knew about dementia?

“Certainly, in the case of Alzheimer’s, it’s not just memory loss. Dementia has lots of different symptoms, which means that someone finds it difficult to live, whether that’s understanding instructions or remembering how to do things. Also, people with dementia have value and are still able to do lots of things, even if they have short-term memory, particularly in the first stages of dementia. People shouldn’t take over; you should still support people to continue the things that they can still do. I think it’s also important to remember that it can happen to any of us and to remember how you would want to be treated if you had it.

Often people who aren’t around someone with dementia all the time might talk to them on the phone or see them for an hour and think that they’re fine because that person with dementia is quite stimulated by that visit or that call and therefore, they may be functioning a bit better and that can often make the carer feel undervalued. To see how dementia is really affecting someone, you have to be around them quite a bit.”

Younger Katie and Dad

There’s a lot we can learn from the experiences of other dementia carers. Positive outlets, such as Katie’s, can recharge us and ease the load of caring for someone else. It is important that, as carers, we continue to share our stories with the wider community to bring us closer and make caring easier for everyone involved. If you want to share your story or any tips, reach out to info@nationaldementiacarersday.co.uk and use #NDCD2025 on social media. Stay tuned for more care profiles.